Gas Station Websites
Why do gas station's need website's? Because their hilarliously awful!*


Sunday, September 18, 2005
J & B Market, Inc.

I hope you like fish.

These lasers are burning my eyes.

J & B Market, Inc. is located on highway 441 at traffic light #10 in Pigeon Forge, TN.

If you hit traffic light #11, you've gone too far.

If you are brilliant enough to realize that your car runs better on Chevron gas, you'll want to stop by for a visit when vacationing in the Smokies.

Brilliant.

Of course, we DO have a few who prefer our hickory smoked BBQ sandwich or our signature sandwich, the BIG NASTY!

I made a promise to myself that after the last time, I would never eat something called the BIG NASTY ever again.

We have 7 campgrounds who are within walking distance to us

Those campgrounds are really swell fellows once you get to know them.

You'd be surprised how many OTHERS are just like you...lost in the Smokies. We can help. Come on in.

If I'm lost in the Smokies, I doubt I'll be able TO find traffic light #10.

Where's Dolly Parton drive? answer: Wherever she wants to! ha ha...oh, you mean Dolly Parton Parkway? It is in Sevierville. You are in Pigeon Forge. GO to traffic light #8, take a right, follow the road until you come to the third traffic light, and THAT is Dolly Parton Parkway.

Dude, I can't even find traffic light #10, let alone traffic light #8, or the third traffic light.

There's also an entire second page of funny tourist questions. And by second page, I mean it repeats half the questions and answers on the first page.

PIGEON FORGE CAR SHOWS FOR 1999

Timely.

I just want to know, is that Charlie Daniels in the bottom picture too?



Sunday, September 04, 2005
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Many people have asked what it takes to become a Gas Station Website. The more of the following, the better. The GSW tagline has several examples of these.


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*I never thought I had to do this, but I guess I gave some of my readers too much credit. The four (yes, there are four, not one or two like most of the grammar "experts" point out) errors in the tagline are indeed intentional. It's called irony. Thank you. (For those of you that got it, congratulations.)