Why do gas station's need website's? Because their hilarliously awful!*
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Kiwi Careers: Service Station Attendant
Every once in a while, Gas Station Websites provides the public service of sharing information on how to break into the exciting world of gas station employment. This is one of those times.
■ Service station attendants assist motorists in getting petrol, gas or oil for their vehicle, and sell motoring accessories and food items.
That's it in a nutshell. "How much more information could there possibly be?", you may ask. "Plenty," I would reply.
■ Mahi ai ki te awhina i nga kaitaraiwa waka ki te hoko penehini, kapuni, hinu ranei mo a ratau waka me te hoko taonga tapiri, me nga kai.
I was just going to say that.
■ Service station attendants may do some or all of the following
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all well and good, but you can save it, and go straight to the money shot. That's right. You get to wear a bow tie.
■ "I think anybody can do this job; you just need to use common sense and have a basic knowledge of a car so you know where the fuel and oil go, and how to pump up the tyres." - Doug Thrush, Service Station Attendant
That, sir, is a slap in the face to all the hard working men and women in the service station industry. I spit on you, Mr. Thrush. I spit on your children. I spit on your pets. You are worse than Hitler. Also, you spell "tires" funny.
■ There are no specific educational requirements for service station attendants
You just don't know when to stop, do you? Keep twisting that knife, you cruel, heartless monster.
■ Service station attendants usually earn between $8 and $12 per hour.
A service station attendant reported making over $100,000? And you believed them? And put their data in your little Excel chart? You sir, are worse than Joan Cusack.
■ The outlook for service station attendants looks average
I would have said "depressing," but to each his own.
■ It's an easy job to get
Penny Jones, you just made my list.
■ I also get the pies out of the chiller
That sounds like something a cell phone hawking Nazi would say.
The face of evil, Doug Thrush.
Anatomy of a GSWMany people have asked what it takes to become a Gas Station Website. The more of the following, the better. The GSW tagline has several examples of these.
Named to the My Yahoo! Editors' Picks
Named a Yahoo! New and Notable Site - 01/14/2005
*I never thought I had to do this, but I guess I gave some of my readers too much credit. The four (yes, there are four, not one or two like most of the grammar "experts" point out) errors in the tagline are indeed intentional. It's called irony. Thank you. (For those of you that got it, congratulations.)