Miley

Wow, this place has everything, except a decent website.

■ Welcome to the home page of the Miley family of businesses.

I can't tell you how excited I get by a family of businesses and a family of websites. It just makes me all warm and fuzzy.

They certainly went all out on the page for their Amoco station.

■ "In Savings, In Service, In 100% Satisfaction you're Miles ahead with Miley".

I would have thought they could have worked a "smiley" in there somewhere.

■ When Red Miley went looking for a car wash system for his Amoco Service Station he was determined to find the best wash for his customers.

Red Miley is the man. Now if he could only find a picture of his car wash to scan that doesn't have a crease right down the middle.

■ Kelly Auto Air: More than Just Air!!

Then why not call it something else? That name is really misleading. How about "Kelly Auto More Than Air"? Or maybe "A Bunch Of Crap You Don't Need, Kelly"?

I'm going to ask them to put a big engine in my cartoon car like this one.

FYI, Red Miley employs an ax-wielding clown named Buffo.

Just in case you wanted to see a whole lot of pictures of cars, have at it.

This thing just creeps me out.

9:27 PM