Gas Station Websites
Why do gas station's need website's? Because their hilarliously awful!*


Thursday, February 03, 2005
Primo's

Another one page wonder.

The aromas of Broasted Chicken, Pizza and a vast selection of hot and cold deli sandwiches drift throughout the store and await your tastebud's pleasure.

I always thought my nose was pleasured by aromas.

Everyone forgets to pack something and Primo's has thought ahead for those that do.

If everyone forgets, then there isn't a separate group of people made up of "those that do." It's everyone. And I resent being called forgetful.

And there's none of that last chance"how bad do you want it" mentality here.

What a scam. I have to pay extra for that at my local dominatrix's too.

Don't forget your munchies and hand packed ice cream for later.

I already asked you once to stop insinuating that I'm forgetful. Besides, I prefer my ice cream to be packed with some kind of utensil, not someone's dirty greasy hand. Yuck.

Gas, propane, Lotto, wine & spirts, and hot coffee with the latest fishing information. Everything you need in one convenient location.

No spirts for me, thank you. Besides, that's not everything I need. I can think of a few others...

- Saw Blade Art
- A trucker's daughter
- Sewer dump
- A shower room with an exposed toilet
- Aboriginal Enterprises
- Cream Corn Delite and Sara Bell Louise
- An exciting career at Blimpie's
- Photos of signs on I55
- An Awesome Technician who has played Professional Volleyball
- BabaGanouge and Shish Kafta
- Downtown Tower
- Beard growing contests
- Diverse looney tunes popouts
- Kok's Kar Klinic
- Homemade Nickelodeon logos
- Keys to the Cavalier
- Itchy Loundagin
- Athena
- Ray Rust
- Bill Butt's Mini convertible
- Unlimited clearance
- Dirty Larry's shirt
- Kliffi
- 5/5/5 deals

The "minds" behind Primo's website have this to say:
We like to think of ourselves as "a citadel of copious conceptualists concerned with composing a collage of classy custom creations, complementing our customer's characteristics".

They need one more word at the end of that sentence:

Crappily.



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*I never thought I had to do this, but I guess I gave some of my readers too much credit. The four (yes, there are four, not one or two like most of the grammar "experts" point out) errors in the tagline are indeed intentional. It's called irony. Thank you. (For those of you that got it, congratulations.)