Fortuna Chevron

It doesn't look like there's much to this site, but you have to look a little deeper.

■ On Main Street in downtown Fortuna

For some reason, Mapquest can't map this address.

■ We offer for sale the highest quality petroleum products to our customers.

Picture this...

The web "designer" proposes this copy:

We offer the highest quality gasoline.

A group of highly paid marketing people huddle for a while...

"You know, our website visitors may not realize who the gasoline is offered to."

We offer the highest quality gasoline to our customers.

"There. That's better. But you know, we offer more than just gasoline. We offer diesel and oil too."

We offer the highest quality petroleum products to our customers.

"Yes. Good. Hmm... Oh crap. Our website visitor might think we're just giving this stuff away!"

We offer for sale the highest quality petroleum products to our customers.

■ We have complete fuel availability, including diesel #2 for autos We also carry high quality automotive oils, all at competitive prices.

Marketing people: "Drop the period after autos."

■ On Main Street in downtown Fortuna

Repeating a vague address doesn't make it any less vague. It's like shouting in a foreign language.

■ - Lottery tickets
  - Groceries
  - Ice
  - Beer
  - Soda
  - Snacks and Candy
  - Ice Cream
  - Clean and friendly atmosphere
  - High quality employees
  - Friendly personnel
  - Lots of parking

Why are employees high quality while the personnel is friendly? Is that how they determine whether you are an employee or a personnel? During the job interview, if you smile, they make you personnel. If you can count, you're an employee. If you don't do either, they put you in marketing.

10:23 PM